Spoiler: $92 dollars plus shipping and import fees

I know I started this blog with the intention of being weirdly and deeply personal here but my better judgement tells me I should keep somethings to myself. I still feel the urge to send these thoughts out into the void so they're no longer my problem and in the past I've found it helpful to do so, maybe it will help me again. I've been really feeling the isolation that comes from being neurodivergent lately. I do not have any formal diagnosis though I heavily suspect I'm on the autism spectrum. All my life I've just been excepted to 'figure it out' on my own which means mask like my life depends on it because it does, as a result I'm low needs though I do have my quirks. My isolation stems from the fact that I've had to learn the neurotypical social rules and by learning how to perform and fit in it just makes everything feel so performative and fake to me. Like I'm paranoid that nobody actually likes me they're just obligated…

It's very normal for me to be going through it during this time of the year. I do work retail so my shifts become increasingly emotionally, physically, and quite honestly spiritually draining up until the new years but this is not my first rodeo show. I've gotten used to it so I'm just struggling with fatigue and what seems to be just a series of bad luck. My beloved pen tablet of like, what, 13 years has finally decided to shit the bed and while it's still somewhat usable the pressure sensitivity is absolutely shot on it so I can't make any meaningful progress with my current art projects. The best I can do is sketches. I do have my galaxy tab I can draw with but my Clip Studio Paint subscription ran out and money is very tight this month so I do not have the means to fix either of these issues right now. I am forcing myself to learn and get comfortable with Krita in the meantime but I still can't work…