It's been awhile since I've last written a formal entry, not from a lack of trying but rather I've been going through it irl the past month or so. You might've seen my last status but if not (I still have to mess around with the RSS feed so it includes statuses) I recently fell at work and had to get stitches on my leg which really took the wind out of my sails! Objectively my injuries weren't bad (thankfully!) but it was exhausting and low-key kind of traumatizing for me to have to go through all of that mess on top of the anxieties and stress I was alright experiencing related to my job and finances. I'm fine now, I've been back to work and had my stitches out for a bit now. While I was recovering though I was in full depression mode and basically only played picross and doomscrolled on my phone. Not very proud of myself for that but I'm back to normal™️ and I'm working on getting back to where…
Bleeding out in front of the fancy feast section at work was absolutely not how I expected my shift to end last Friday but here I am a week later. So yeah I tripped and fell into a glass tank at work last week and had to get stitches in my left leg. I'm okay and my cuts are healing nicely. I have all but one stitch out which is annoying since it's in the deeper cut and all the other stitches in that cut stung when they got taken out. I know why mom my left it in but at the same time I wish I just got them out all at once. I haven't been able to sit at my desk so I haven't had access to my computer. I've been tired from the emotional roller coaster I was on after Friday and from a lack of sleep thanks to my leg being finicky about how I position it when I'm laying down. I did want to at least write something here since…
I know I started this blog with the intention of being weirdly and deeply personal here but my better judgement tells me I should keep somethings to myself. I still feel the urge to send these thoughts out into the void so they're no longer my problem and in the past I've found it helpful to do so, maybe it will help me again. I've been really feeling the isolation that comes from being neurodivergent lately. I do not have any formal diagnosis though I heavily suspect I'm on the autism spectrum. All my life I've just been excepted to 'figure it out' on my own which means mask like my life depends on it because it does, as a result I'm low needs though I do have my quirks. My isolation stems from the fact that I've had to learn the neurotypical social rules and by learning how to perform and fit in it just makes everything feel so performative and fake to me. Like I'm paranoid that nobody actually likes me they're just obligated…
For the longest time I’ve been a digital artist and kept a digital journal but this year I started writing in a physical journal daily and I’ve been drawing in my sketchbooks again.
Hi. Hello. I'm still alive. I'm slowly accepting the fact that I'm just horribly slow at updating my blog and that's okay. Surprisingly enough I am capable of journaling everyday1 but writing a blog post just kind of feels different to me? Not sure why but maybe I'll figure it out eventually. No promises, as usual. The year so far, granted we are a month and some change in to it, has been rough for me. I started out January getting sick, the actual cold lasted for like 3 or 4 days but the lingering cough lasted the whole month. I still kind of have it, but it's more just residual gunk I think. Then I finally started to finally burn out at work now that the holidays are over and just the sheer amount of drama going on between my coworkers and the impending half-baked restructure coming down from corporate. I've just felt like shit and unfortunately I'm continuing to feel like shit. I feel like it's really something I just kind of have to…
It's very normal for me to be going through it during this time of the year. I do work retail so my shifts become increasingly emotionally, physically, and quite honestly spiritually draining up until the new years but this is not my first rodeo show. I've gotten used to it so I'm just struggling with fatigue and what seems to be just a series of bad luck. My beloved pen tablet of like, what, 13 years has finally decided to shit the bed and while it's still somewhat usable the pressure sensitivity is absolutely shot on it so I can't make any meaningful progress with my current art projects. The best I can do is sketches. I do have my galaxy tab I can draw with but my Clip Studio Paint subscription ran out and money is very tight this month so I do not have the means to fix either of these issues right now. I am forcing myself to learn and get comfortable with Krita in the meantime but I still can't work…