Reach None

So it's been awhile since I've talked about the the Cirque, my most important personal project. Actually I talk about it a lot to my Headmate and I certainly think about it all the time but over time I've lost the motivation to share any of it online. I've talked about the big reasons why before so I will not go into again here but I have other reasons and thoughts about it that I've yet to articulate.

It's a Matter of Medium

My original idea was to make a online wiki, like the ones I'd get lost in when I was younger online, but I have never found a wiki software that I can stand to work with. I'm very picky when it comes to the software I use daily. It took me years to settle down and lock into obsidian. After a while I just sort of stopped looking for the perfect wiki software and just continued to write in private.

In the mean time I'm writing a single document but eventually I would like to have a larger interlinked wiki maybe using one of the many obsidian publishing tools. Again I have not found one that suits my needs but I'm sure eventually one will come along. I'm in a bit of a static site generator phase since it's less overhead than using something like wordpress or mediawiki. Writing a single document has also proven to be easier to write than a multipage wiki. Who would've thought. The public draft gets updated with the rest of my website which I have not updated as much as I'd like to this year so far.

If you're wondering why I don't write a story like a normal person it's because I hate writing narratives. There's several narratives that I could turn into stories that have revealed themselves to me over the years but I could not do them any justice if I turned them into one. Some of them I've written them out like a historical recounting of events kind of like a xeno non-fiction book mainly so I could figure out timelines and explore important events in detail. If I ever where to write a book about the Serk I think it would be something along those lines but I don't think I'm ready for that kind of project right now.

Who is This For

Well, it's for me. So why am I devoting so much time and energy trying to 'publish' my notes if at the end of the day I'm doing all of this for myself? This is a question that's come up a lot for me while I've been working on my relationship with my art so naturally it's going to come up again here. I just feel compelled to share it! Would it be easier just to keep it to myself? Judging by past experiences, yes absolutely. It can never be easy though so here I am spending time and energy figuring out how I can share this thing that means so much to me with complete strangers on the internet because who the fuck am I going to share this with offline?

Anyways

I think I've gone on enough, I'm spending more time writing this entry than working on the project but I felt like I should give some sort of update. I know I always say this every time I start a new blog BUT I would like to write more snippets and do some good old info dumping here occasionally. I have been working on reference images for some important Shimmera and I'd like to talk about them a bit so expect a entry about that soon. Life has been a lot for us lately but I'm slowly starting to get back on track with my writing and art.