Hi. Hello. I’m still alive. I’m slowly accepting the fact that I’m just horribly slow at updating my blog and that’s okay. Surprisingly enough I am capable of journaling everyday1 but writing a blog post just kind of feels different to me? Not sure why but maybe I’ll figure it out eventually. No promises, as usual.
The year so far, granted we are a month and some change in to it, has been rough for me. I started out January getting sick, the actual cold lasted for like 3 or 4 days but the lingering cough lasted the whole month. I still kind of have it, but it’s more just residual gunk I think. Then I finally started to finally burn out at work now that the holidays are over and just the sheer amount of drama going on between my coworkers and the impending half-baked restructure coming down from corporate.
I’ve just felt like shit and unfortunately I’m continuing to feel like shit. I feel like it’s really something I just kind of have to hang on and ride it out. I’m not quite ready to say my chronic depression is back because it’s not That Bad yet but I am reminded that it’s there and I should be mindful of it again.
There’s some good things going on though, mainly in self-care department as we try to cope with everything that’s going on (and not just in our personal life 😔). I’ve been reading and drawing more, things that have always brought me comfort but I’ve been neglecting to do in favor of easier things like playing video games, which is more like mental junk food I think. Playing video games is just a quick and easy fix for me, but drawing and reading are more fulfilling in the long term. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, sometimes I just do not have the spoons or in the right headspace to read (or at least to get anything out of what I’m reading) or draw so I’ll pick up a game but if I go too long without drawing I start to get restless which makes things worse.
Either way I’m slowly getting back into my hobbies and I’m doing my best to keep it pushing. I’m also slowly working on my website and making art I actually want to share again. I’m not trying to be a content creator or anything but I do want to be more active around here at least. It’s nice curating my own webspace now that I’m starting to move away from social media (for real this time!).
